I Know You Don't Care But [22 Nov 2006|09:13am] Fuuuuuuck. I can't believe this thing is still here. And most of all, that I remembered this password! Oh and christ, was I emo. I was really emo way back in the day. But now I'm like this: (Borat costume) Have a nice day. post comment

[13 Mar 2005|08:18pm] No updates in how many months. Um. I'm doing okay. Rebecca says if I didn't update she'd hurt me. Which is impossible, really, because she's so petite and she can't even push me very hard anyway. We're reading Anthem by Ayn Rand and it makes me think. There's this time when I read the book and I felt so completely hopeless and sad and just- well, it's an interesting read. Have not picked up my guitar in weeks now. I should soon. Pick it up and strum it like old times and maybe I can sit down on the bed and sing or try to and maybe I'll feel a bit better than how I've been lately. Like. I don't know. Nobody emails me. That sucks. Someone email me. Almost forgot to mention that Mia Kirshner is fucking hott.   :D 1 comment|post comment

[02 Nov 2004|07:56pm] my mom spent her whole afternoon along with a bunch of other people hanging by the road and showing off Kerry support posters. she asked if i wanted to come. i said no. and then she shook her head and asked when was I going to "stop this" and i said "stop what?" and all she did was take my hand and squeeze it, kissing my forehead and whispering something i couldn't hear correctly. and it made me feel like i was a little kid again and i just skinned my knee or something and here she is comforting me. she's good at that. making you feel something other than what you want to, i mean. but she has a weakness for cameras, for bacon, for Reeses, for spongecake- and it's funny if you think about it. like that time she took kate's Waitresses CD and sang along to "I Know What Boys Like" for three hours straight. i mean, she's capable of a lot, my mom. too much, maybe, i don't know. sometimes i think she is. and sometimes it's too easy to tell that she wants more from everything. if only... my dad voted for bush. you're lucky you didn't hear the crazy loud argument they had this morning about politics. post comment

[02 Nov 2004|12:35am] Can't sleep. Wore my Spiderman costume to school last Friday. I think it was obvious it was tight. Haha. I've never heard "Nice ass" so many times in one day. It's almost 1 am. What's there to mention? I miss talking on AIM. I haven't signed on there for the longest. I think I should soon. post comment

[20 Oct 2004|09:32pm] alive. surviving. that's all that's important. i don't know why i don't update as much as before. this always happens. i get so excited and i'm so into something for a good amount of time and then i just drop it. forget about it. and it's only a handful of times where i've finished what i've started. well, i updated today so i guess that means i'm still into this- if only for a short while before i forget about this again. ms. quicke, yesterday, wanted us to draw faces of different moods. she used us as examples. beth was happy. myron was angry. and then she walked right up to me, and said "troubled", and she looked at me so closely i swear it felt like she could see right into my soul. i feel the same, as always, towards algebra. post comment

I'M ALIVE!! [17 Sep 2004|09:53pm] Haha. All right. Well. High school sucks. I hate Algebra. I suck at algebra completely. Not much has happened to me. I'm Rebecca's "love monkey" now. Haha. Hmm..what else? Stew turned punk over night. It depresses the hell out of me because it's like he's just doing it because it's kool. And now the punk kids call him "Trailer Trash". It's sad. I went into the girls locker room chasing Cassie. It smells good in there. Kate wore boots and this sweater thing that made her look like a hooker one morning. I made her change her clothes. I doubt she dressed that way intentionally, but still. She eats meat, although sparingly, now. My dad said he would take me fishing a few days ago. He lied. And, I really hope my mom is happy. Not about me not going fishing (she was upset about it) but about.. her life.. or something, I mean. I really do. I've seen her look at herself a lot lately and it's like she's just not seeing herself correctly. I'd like to.. nevermind. I hope she's happy. post comment

[01 Sep 2004|05:53pm] Funniest thing <-- scroll down to the part about Lindsay Lohan, then read the comments. If you don't find it at least half amusing, I don't know what's wrong with you. Nothing else to say. post comment

later... [18 Aug 2004|10:21pm] also, the new rilo kiley CD is nowhere to be found. someone tell me where to buy it? i was listening to this one song where in one part jenny does this breathing thing.... and jesus! when you hear a girl breathing like that and she's singing about some girl sleeping inside you and how touching leads to sex and then earlier she was yelling for you to "COME HERE!".... well, you just have to like it. post comment

[18 Aug 2004|01:49am] i am very bored and i can't sleep. lamictal curse you! my sleep hours have been nuttier ever since i came back though. i think i get like 5 hours of sleep every day. and no, i haven't been drinking caffeine. rebecca drinks like ten cups of coffee everyday. it's crazy. i've actually seen her drink three cups of coffee in a row. goddamn fish with a caffeine addiction. hehe. i get a really funny mental picture with that. *shakes head* i'm talking nonsense. must. sleep. good morning. post comment

[17 Aug 2004|09:26pm] please note to never go to tabworld.com because that place is evil and that spy sweeper works a helluva lot better than that norton anti virus crap. i went to the doctor today for a check up. california by phantom planet kept playing every few minutes. very creepy. the doctor kept saying how it was such a great song and if i was glad to be back in "cali" after a month of being away. i told him i never left but i don't think he heard me. doctors like him don't hear anything. it was also really hot today. in the car driving over to and from the doctor my mom put the air conditioner to its highest because she knows how i get when it's too hot. it worked in the car but at home i went crazy on her anyway. sometimes i wonder how she puts up with me and my craziness so much and i almost regret not talking to her like i used to. oh and christa wants to make out with me with masks on and pop rocks in our mouths. is that kinky or what? haha. my kind of woman. :D post comment

[14 Aug 2004|12:34pm] to finish off the entry from this morning, i guess i wish i had more things to say. it's strange coming home after a month and not having anything to really show for it. jake came around a few days ago and asked what i did while i was away. he asked if i got him a souvenir or anything. kate told him to keep quiet. i'm glad she did. hil got me shoelaces as a welcome back present. they're the kind that have "fuck you" all over them. thanks hil. :D post comment

[14 Aug 2004|12:13am] mom finally let me use the computer. i think i've been home for a few days. things feel different for some reason. i don't know. i feel different. not much else to say, i guess. i came home in less than a month. everything that happened to me has been a blur. not much else to say. post comment

[13 Jul 2004|09:47am] i'm leaving in a few minutes. i'm packed and everything. apparently, this morning were my last few hours of "freedom". please note: rebecca, you are as crazy as i am. *smirk*. well, i don't know if i'm still going to AZ. my folks might just go without me- they have a whole month (and maybe more) that they won't be doing anything. i hope they'll wait till i get back. i want to go that biosphere 2 thing there that christa was talking about. it sounded pretty kool. so anyway, yeh, i hope i get home earlier than last time. kate was all "please don't be so difficult with everyone so that you can come home soon" or something and then she started crying her head off. *shakes head* well, i think i'm going to listen to her this time. and.. i guess i have to leave now because my mom is calling me from the door. i guess this is goodbye... *tears up* lol. --- before i go: Sam is hott and we are wild and sexy animals. *Growl* :D post comment

[11 Jul 2004|01:09am] did the gig on friday. ( it was fucking awesome ) post comment

[05 Jul 2004|03:09pm] yesterday was fun. we grilled and my cousins came over. the burgers were really really good. really juicy and all. we had ribs too. kate got a veggie burger though, so she missed out. i saw her looking at the meat on the grill though. talk about temptation. lol. my cousins are staying for another few days. it's going to be fun. we're going to play on the game cube a lot, i bet. ( pieces of pictures ) post comment

about the thing i posted earlier [04 Jul 2004|12:21am] because of cassie's teasing, lol, i just wanted to say that i have never purchased illegal porn either. i've never purchased any type of porn. thank you. *smirk* wrote this with christa on AIM: Tippy: The Saga by: TJA and CRJ : once upon a time there was a puple elephant named tippy who fell from the sky : she landed on a shopping cart and caused it to roll downhill in the street and she caused a lot of car accidents : umm... so the animal control people came.. and they hit her with on of those tranquilizer darts... : they took her to the local zoo and came to the decision that they were going to put tippy(was that her name?).. to sleep.. it was tippys time to die for all of the trouble she has caused with her.. falling... and purpleness... : and then some circus performers found out about her and then busted her out and she lived with them in a train : but the animal control people were still looking for her and she was in the news all the time : as a disguise she wore leather pants and a wig : even though she kind of enjoyed the leather pants.. one day she realized she was sick of being something she's not.... she isnt just a regular old purple elephant wearing leather pants and a wig... she was meant to play music and perform.. she remembered the days when her mom taught her to play the harp with her trunk and dreamed that one day she could play again.... so she thought about running away.. leaving the people who had helped her stay alive : so one day she packed up her bags and and left (without telling the circus people) to julliard where she got a scholarship for playing the harp. so now the animal control and the circus people were looking for her : and then one day she got a solo in a concert and one animal control person saw her : so she had to leave right in the middle of the concert : and was on the run again : shes on the run going from town to town and one night shes at a bar singing kareoke.. ( dont know how to spell it) and shes sees this red elephant sitting in the back with a smile on his face... she finsished her song and then steps off stage..... the red elephant motions for tippy to come over to him and he wraps his trunk around tippys big fat purple body... the hug was comforting to her since it was the first one she has had in a long time.... comforting almost like a parent would comfort there child.. and then she realized.. it was her father. : tippy had thought her father to be dead, but there he was right next to her. she cried and he cried- so glad to see eachother until the whole bar was flooded and then the police came and had to arrest them for drowning everybody. they had to run away from them too. now the animal protection, the circus, and the police people were looking for her. one day, hiding out, the father and daughter elephant bought some new leather and motorcycles and a joined a motorcycle gang : so anyways.. after the first day of being in the motorcycle gang... they were faced with the harsh realities of being big giant fat colored elephants : and that is.. they cant ride motorcylces : they both died trying. : the end post comment

[03 Jul 2004|08:37pm] ( I had to put an 'x' in front of everything I've never done. '*' Means I want it to happen.. or something. ) post comment

[02 Jul 2004|08:56pm] i found a lot of pictures yesterday and in a few of them i'm wearing a jelly bracelet. i don't even know how i got it in the first place, i'm pretty sure i didn't walk into a store and buy it. i think one of the colors was for a lap dance or something. *smirk*. i wonder where it is now. i showed jake, hil, and todd the pictures when they came over. we all practically split our sides laughing so much. then we used paint shop pro and made mustaches and red dots on some of the pictures. just to note, i don't look very good with a curly mustache. haha. post comment

[01 Jul 2004|05:41pm] single again. anyone want to hook up? haha. i missed lisa today. she came over and we went walking and just talked and i don't know, i missed her even if she was just right there next to me. we both sort of agreed to it though, which was a good thing. i hate when one person gets dumped and gets all depressed. i say this because i usually end up the depressed one. haha. the band got a gig. i forget where. someplace. anyway, there's a few other bands playing. we get three songs each, i think. anyway it's going to be one helluva long night. the line up goes: Contribution Pretty Dead Girls Richard Cranium (that's us!) Mealymouthed Servants we played with Contribution before but i've only heard of the other two. i don't get what's so great about Bright Eyes. post comment

random stuff [29 Jun 2004|08:13pm] darkness thinks i'm pretty.   The sky is blue, but an impossible sort of blue. The kind that fits perfectly with the dark green and gray around you and makes you wonder and feel so small. "You can fall into the sky like this," she says dreamily. "Jump from this rock here and watch the wind pick you up." She laughs and tilts her head back, eyes closed and smiling. And you tell yourself she isn't talking to you, not really. But her hand tightens in yours, and you wonder.   i took another "delightful" picture of kate this morning. why is that everytime i take a picture it comes out all fuzzy? anyway, i was tinkering around with paint shop pro. caption time! haha.   i'm attempting to write a dark captain hook fic at the moment. it blows. but i'm sick of writing all this romantic crap. enough of that. ha, watch me come up with some romantic crap again. post comment

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